Lessons learned as a nurse with chronic illness
At the age of 35, I can say that I’ve lived many different lives. In a previous life, I was an oncology nurse. For 7 years I took care of patients diagnosed with blood cancers like Leukemia, and patients who were undergoing stem cell/bone marrow transplant at a hospital that was known for taking care of the sickest of the sick. I witnessed unimaginable suffering, dying, and death pretty much every day. At this time of my life, I was 100% healthy, or so I thought. I often wondered “If I was faced with suffering of this magnitude, how would I handle it?” I got a front row view of what it looks like to continue to fight when the odds are stacked up against you. To remain kind when your world is falling apart. To muster up hope in seemingly hopeless situations. I met some of the most courageous, incredible people I will have ever met in this lifetime.
Being an oncology nurse was one of the greatest prides of my life. The honor of being allowed to walk alongside someone through the darkest time of their life cannot be put into words. Sadly, I had to leave working with a patient population that was so dear to my heart when my own health started to decline. When my endometriosis symptoms started creeping in, it was my patient’s tenacity that kept me pushing through each day of my own worsening pain. I drew from their courage and strength. “If they can do it, so can I” is what I told myself. Eventually though, I didn’t have it in me physically or mentally to continue down this career path.
But, that time spent was not in vain. It prepared me for this life that I live today. In ways that I could’ve never fathomed. It prepared me to be able to answer the question of “if I was faced with suffering of this magnitude, how would I handle it?” It showed me that there will be hard days mixed in with the good ones. It told me that healing has many different meanings. It taught me that sometimes, the strongest thing I can do is to surrender to my circumstances, and pick back up when I’m ready and able— not a second sooner.
“ It showed me that there will be hard days mixed in with the good ones.
It told me that healing has many different meanings. It taught me that sometimes, the strongest thing I can do is to surrender to my circumstances, and pick back up when I’m ready and able— not a second sooner.”